What Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock’s workout gear tells us about them Leave a comment

The beanie “You do not want to see what’s underneath this. If you think my hair is a national disgrace at 5pm, when I’m wearing a suit and trussed up to speak to the country as leader during a deadly pandemic, imagine what it’s like when I’ve just woken up from a cheese sleep? Not pretty.”

The dress shirt “Always ready for action! Terrorist attack? Emergency press conference? Zoom call with the Queen? Surprise visit in the park from the G7 leaders, in the likely event I’d forgotten it was today? I can just whip off the old pullover and bing bang bong, in I go. It’s practical, if a little scratchy and pro-perspiration.”

The sweater “If you’re working with a frame like mine – think Ottoman filled with Ambrosia custard – it’s best to pack it in tight, lest the old wibble wobbles, do you read me? Besides, a heavy knit maximises the sweat, and as Harry the PT says, genius is 1 per cent inspiration, 99 per cent perspiration.”

The shorts “Did you know that I was the mayor of London for the 2012 Olympics? Some say that I was the main man behind it all, but I would not go so far as to say that. If anything, I would say I was the second main man, behind Sir Winston Churchill, who drives everything I do.”

The socks “I just find it saves on washing if you wear the same socks to run in as you’ll have on for the rest of the day. Call me parsimonious, but I’m thinking of the environment.”

The trainers “See above. You try finding shoes that work just as well with a suit as in a HIIT class, at the club, on a site visit to an automobile factory and in the Palace of Westminster. I can’t wear white ones, I’m not Amber Rudd.”

The whole vibe “I’m a shambolic mess! But you can’t take your eyes off me, can you? Eh?”

Matt Hancock

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